Montale says... before departure, everything is prepared down to the last detail... but the only hope lies in the unforeseen.

That is exactly what happened to me on the last pilgrimage with Father Tyler Kline and his wonderful parishioners. What I had prepared for them was certainly beautiful — the result of comparisons and conversations with friends in the same line of work and with family — and because I had let my heart delight in the wonders of Italy, and above all, in our companionship of CL in Italy.

However, the way I was preparing for the trip made it very clear, especially to my family, that I had an anxiety about performance, a deep sense of inadequacy, and a nearly physical fear. My mind and body could not surrender to the evidence that Jesus fulfills our attempts and accompanies them step by step — as my friends reminded me, and as I have seen so many times. I couldn’t turn my head toward the truth about myself — that I am always loved and sustained by the good Lord. It remained a thought, not a lived reality; it didn’t reach my heart or my body.

And then — the Unforeseen happens!

If you let Him enter through even the tiniest crack of humility — that is, the certainty that my real nothingness and my real misery have never been the definition or the truth of who I am — then you rediscover that you are loved, that you do not make yourself, that you are a creature. And if even a crumb of that truth, by God’s grace, begins to shape the way you live from morning to night, you suddenly find yourself at the center of events that Jesus prepares for you — to accompany your nothingness.

And so the long list of Events begins right away — on the plane to Rome, meeting beside me a Catholic woman who wanted to know about our pilgrimage; and on the trains, where women, priests, and professors shared their lives with me, even though I was a stranger to them.

In Rome, a dear friend awaited me — someone very important to me whom I rarely see — completely available to review a well-studied program which, only now, in the warmth of her embrace and her faith, slowly became a peaceful journey, one meant for my conversion and as an offering to my American friends of all that the good God has given to me and my family through encountering Him in the Movement.

In every city we visited, our friends from the Movement said “yes” to our invitation to meet the 26 pilgrims and their young priest — beginning in Siena, then Orvieto, Todi, Assisi, Perugia, and Rome — a companionship of friends who accompanied the pilgrimage. They said “yes” as if we were lifelong friends, meeting Americans they had never seen before as brothers and sisters. What a spectacle!

In Siena, two friends arrived with a guitar, but above all with the pain still fresh from a newborn son’s dramatic hospitalization and miraculous recovery. Full of gratitude to Mary and to the many prayers offered, they came from their village to sing with us and share the miracle of their son. They even were so attentive to prepare a love song for one of our couples who had just been married.

In Orvieto, a group of friends, on a weekday evening after work, waited for us until 10 p.m. Each had a carefully chosen sheet of songs, prepared just for us — and our pilgrims found themselves singing “Jack’s in the Kitchen with Tina…” something quite unusual for a group of adults! They became like children again — radiant with joy!

In Todi, during an apericena in the beautiful square, one of our American pilgrims asked a question that immediately engaged everyone trying not to miss a single word: “But what is this Movement? Who are you?”

The testimony of our friends from Todi was so fascinating that it continued through dinner and ended with an invitation from the pilgrims themselves to come to Annapolis, Md., to continue the friendship. One friend asked about Charlie Kirk and encouraged us to speak freely despite the different opinions within the group. That struck me deeply — it’s rare for us to face each other honestly, for fear of offending one another.

In Assisi came the joyful eruption of song from our “six musketeers” who came from Perugia, eager to meet and give all of themselves — and everyone was drawn in, singing in Italian songs they had never heard before… perhaps thanks to the gift of the Holy Spirit, who lets us speak in many tongues!

Moreover, our knowledge of the places, art, and history could never have touched our hearts as it did without our guides in each city. Each of them, because of their belonging to the Church and to CL, led us with that intelligence of faith that is one of the most beautiful and transformative things one can experience on a journey. They revealed the meaning behind what we saw — the painter’s intention, the heart burning with love for Jesus hidden in the details no one notices, the lives of the Saints — men like us, within the circumstances given to them. Even the Laude of Jacopone da Todi was sung for us!

A journey of conversation, day after day — and such passion never goes unnoticed. Tourists sense it right away, because their “hearts leap,” and hope begins to grow.

Pilgrims of hope — because those who have hope live differently, as Fr. Tyler often reminded us and as we saw embodied in a friend who is an entrepreneur. She opened her company to us with a simplicity that won me over at the door. A very intense life, full of painful moments, losses, and confusion — as she herself says, “because for the impossible to become possible, all it takes is a “yes”; the story has been repeating itself for 2,000 years, and then the Love born from that “Yes” always comes looking for you — to meet you and to be recognized.

Among the pilgrims there were tears — because when faith touches work and money and makes you joyful even in toil, you truly experience the Resurrection.

My initial fear came from believing that I make myself, that I am my performance, and that my limitations must disappear or at least not be noticed. But since they exist, they terrified me and kept me from seeing reality.

The companionship of the Church — that is, the embrace of Jesus through the friends to whom I belong — now shows me that I am You who makes me, and only in this way are my heart and intellect set free. We have received the grace to live the Resurrection here and now — and the whole world is waiting for this liberation today. Once you experience it, you can’t help but ask: What is happening here? Why? Who are You who make those in tears joyful?

And as if that weren’t enough — the gift! For my 60th birthday, our children organized a collection for Cowa, an association in Uganda empowering disadvantaged youth with practical skills, values, and hope. They know my affection for AVSI USA and knew I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a fundraiser for AVSI. But they surprised me by enlarging my idea and involving so many friends who donated very generously to this work. I am so grateful to all my friends and my children for this gift, which changed my poor heart — and the lives of others across the sea.

The Pope tells us not to lose joy, trust, and hope in these dark times here in America and throughout the world. For me, it isn’t easy — the pain of the world's wounds often paralyzes me. But I thank our Good Lord for the gift of Hope and Charity that He offers me every day through the community, through unexpected encounters, through parishes, and through the lives of the saints — contemporary and past — who say their “yes” in every corner of the world where they live.

Laura, Boyds Md.