“Hope in the midst of suffering”. What can that possibly look like? I wanted to attend the presentation for two reasons; one, it was an opportunity to spend time with some friends whose presence is a help for me on my journey, and two, right now my family is going through a difficult time and I wanted to understand how “Hope in the midst of suffering” is possible. It was not easy to attend, because I had to take a day off to make it on time, and my job has asked employees to not take Fridays off, but I decided that I needed to go.

The first note I wrote down was from Cardinal Pierre, “The temptation in front of suffering is to give answers.” I found this so true because that has been my question, “What do I do to help those in my family who are suffering?” Something had happened on Friday morning and instantly I came up with a plan that I thought had the possibility of fixing the situation. Listening to the witnesses made me realize that I was going about it in a very superficial way, as if I could fix this with my plan, as if I could help those who are suffering, and take away their suffering, with my plan. What I realized was that “taking away their suffering” is not possible, but even if it were, it would not be fair to them. That sounds strange to say, but the truth is that their suffering is an opportunity to find something, Someone greater. “Suffering reflects the transcendence of the human person. It helps us go further. Suffering is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.”

I was facing the suffering of my family as a problem to be solved, and with that I was carrying the burden of trying to figure out how to solve the problem. The day after the presentation I thought a lot about the situation in my family, the witnesses I had heard, and what a few of us had talked about over dinner that night. I realized that the “plan” I had come up with was not going to solve anything, that I couldn’t solve the problem, and that it wasn’t even a problem to be solved. That’s hard to say because it is difficult to see people you love suffering. Enrico said, “In the objectivity of suffering there is a possibility of friendship.” That really made me think. My solution to the problem had nothing to do with a possibility of friendship, had nothing to do with a relationship. It had to do with removing the person that was causing the suffering. But I realized that his suffering, which is causing so much suffering to others around him, is what is leading us to rebuild a relationship. It is through this relationship that his suffering will be made bearable and that I will have an opportunity of a friendship with him, and therefore, with Him. I know it won’t take away the person’s suffering, but as Albacete says in Cry of the Heart, “Co-suffering affirms the wounded personal identity of the sufferer through our willingness to expose our identity to the questioning provoked by the sufferer’s pain (questions I run away from because I don’t know how to answer). This willingness to share suffering is an act of love.”

My original plan was not an act of love, it was viewing humanity as something that needed to be fixed. I was taking out the “humanity” of everyone involved so that I could “do the right thing.” I don’t need to know what the answers to his questions are, I need to ask the same questions with him and just be with him. Finally, Enrico ended with saying that Christ did not suffer in the past, that he continues to suffer. And when I am in front of suffering, what I am in front of is the mystery and in the midst of that, Christ is present through those people who co-suffer with the sufferers. My plan had nothing to do with Christ, and would have left Him out of the picture. Instead, this presentation made me realize that if I ignore Him in this and try to solve it on my own, I will never be able to. If I recognize Him in this suffering, then the suffering is not only bearable, but beautiful too.

Miriam, Miami, FL