I became sick with Bell’s Palsy unexpectedly on the weekend prior to Thanksgiving. While I managed to attend to some of my commitments the weekend prior, the reality was that by Monday I could no longer have a normal conversation, work, or drive. I had to be secluded and medicated, barely able to keep my eyes open. Thanksgiving was canceled for me and there was a lot of uncertainty about the road ahead.

Those who are close to me know that I hardly ever miss a commitment. I had planned a movie night for the Friday after Thanksgiving with my book club. So be it. We carried on with the plan. While I had chosen the movie, Stranger than Fiction, some time ago, I was amazed how this movie and the entire experience connected to Chapter 10 of The Religious Sense. Even as I was sick, I was pierced by many questions and thoughts: Who are these people? They are friends, yes I know them, but first of all, they are given. They are other than me. They have their own free wills, I cannot control or predict what they will do. They have an impact on me, especially when they say something that resonates within me. They make me aware that I do not make myself.

Given that the movie is quite provocative, everyone, even non-Christians, were moved. It inspired the question, is there a law that guides the human heart? Is there a law in our heart? Does the heart, once it comes alive, remain ignited? If you watch the movie you will understand why the protagonist, who was totally unsettled in the beginning, becomes peaceful by the end. Everyone was grateful for the movie and for the evening. But for me, I was reborn through my sickness. Even our limitations are given, so God can initiate a different chain of events through all of our circumstances.

The next day I was longing to contemplate something beautiful. It occurred to me that I live close to a lake, and if I timed it just right, I could be there for the sunset. When I arrived, time stopped. I had brought my tablet and books to spend some time reading. However, I only needed to look. I was filled by looking. I could not leave that place. ”I open my eyes to this reality that imposes itself upon me.” Looking at the color of water, changing in the sunset, I wondered: Is this a gift to me? What is this beauty a sign of? Why did You bring me here?

In the midst of this awe, I heard two voices talking. As I saw and waved to two old men, they came closer to me in their golf cart. Both were friendly and retired veterans. After some chit-chat, they ended the conversation telling me that this is the nicest place to see the sunset, but to be aware that this is private property. Hadn’t I seen the signs? They told me to stay as long as I wanted to, but I understood they meant just for that day.

The prognosis for Bell’s Palsy is at least five weeks with some limited ability and pain. Some friends have asked me if I am sad. Some even left me “get well balloons” at the entrance to my house. Sad? I am more alive than I have been in a long time, and I am left asking: how is it possible to live this way in these circumstances?

Marc, Summerville, South Carolina