Never Despise Yourself

A meditation for the beginning of Advent: learning to embrace our own poverty by remembering Christ
Bishop Mark Bartosic

"God is glorified in his saints, his heroes and his martyrs. He is also glorified in his poor."

Those words are taken from George Bernanos' Dialogues des Carmelites, a dramatization of the novel, The Song at the Scaffold, by Gertrud von le Fort. The action takes place during the French Revolution and its aftermath. The speaker is Prioress of a community of Carmelite nuns. With the lucidity of a dying woman she perceives danger ahead for her daughters, especially Sr. Blanche de la Force, who listens. The youngest nun's lack of courage is monumental, and the Prioress needs to prepare Blanche for a confrontation with her own poverty of character.

A world away (or maybe not) from 18th century France and the Reign of Terror, I spent 5 minutes with Omar. He was sitting at a table in jail, eating a Christmas burrito. Not yet 40, he had been sent to prison for 20 years, most of which were over. He was back in jail on appeal, so there was a possibility he'd be sent home early. "But it can go either way with me, and I'll be good with it. Because I like who I am now!" What he said blew me away.

This Advent we will hear at Mass of a chain reaction set off by Jesus, who would have been smaller than a grain of wheat at the moment in question. John the Baptist is the first to be blown away by the tiny Savior's power. Also in utero, it will be another three months before he is born into the world of the five senses. Still, the physical nearness of the Savior fills John with joy which he expresses in the only way he can; he leaps in Elizabeth's womb.

Then Elizabeth cries out. In an instant, she knows God has a plan to save us, and that her cousin has a major role in it: “Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled!"

Elizabeth's outburst must have come as a great surprise to Mary. Imagine the tumult in her heart during the days since Gabriel’s visit. Imagine her rehearsing the telling of her own news to Elizabeth - what to include, what to leave out. And then! At a word from the Holy Spirit, Elizabeth already knows all about it!

I met Omar only once. At the end of our visit, he mentioned that his mother "used to say something about a grain of wheat that falls to the ground and dies, and then...I don't remember any more. Does that have something to do with religion?" Yes, Omar, yes! It means Jesus is strong to save! "I like who I am now," he had told me. That's Jesus at work. We are prone to despising our poverty - whatever form it may take. "Above all, never despise yourself," the Prioress tells Blanche. "Contempt of yourself would lead you straight to despair." Our strength is the Lord's own gift, but it does not claim his heart as does our poverty, which, being truly our own, he has taken upon himself. Again the Prioress: "It is very difficult to despise yourself, without offending God-in-us."

I carry The Blessed Sacrament in a pyx in my breast pocket when I visit the jail. Most of the detainees, like Omar, are not Catholic. They can't receive Holy Communion. They don't know Whom I bear. Nevertheless, as in the case of John, Elizabeth and Mary, God-with-us can be brought to them. Glory be to Him whose power, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine; glory be to Him from generation to generation in the Church and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever. Amen (Eph. 3:20-21).