At the end of August, I had the privilege of joining people from over 70 countries at the International Meeting of Responsibles in La Thuile, Italy. When Fr. Michael invited me, I have to admit that I was surprised, since I hold no “official” responsibility for the Movement. In fact, the invitation and the experience of being there was convicting because of the distance I have felt from the Movement in the past year. It’s not that I have abandoned School of Community or stopped doing the work, but the distance emerged from constantly saying “No” to local and national diaconia conversations. It was easy to say “No” because of time or because of other meetings. But that “No” has created in me a separation from authority — a kind of independence that I thought I needed to “give myself a break” but now only shows itself to have robbed me of judgment.

I have filled my time with other reading and other opportunities to learn, but I have missed the judgment — truly I have missed it. Life has felt empty without it.

My experience in La Thuile, beyond the assemblies and lessons, was an experience of a great mercy. Here in the Movement is a companionship — a companionship I ignore and say “No” to; a companionship I may doubt or consider an imposition — but a companionship that always keeps giving. I can say “No” to a thousand things, but one Yes opens the door to an infinite mercy, an almost jealous mercy that seeks the exaltation of my heart.

I am grateful for the call of the Lord to this friendship, a call that I cannot take for granted because it asks something of me. It holds inside of it the impulse to go out, to be sent: not as a way of expanding its reach or increasing numbers, but as a way of broadening the horizon of my humanity.

Fr. Alex, Evansville, IN