In Him I See Who I Am
Fr. Brian reflects on how the charism of CL helps him to be a priest, even within the discovery of his own limits.It is a joy to be a priest. I love everything about it, even if I have no idea how to live it well. That's why the charism of Communion and Liberation has helped me so much.
In the past few months, my schedule changed due to a new semester at the university. It made it difficult for me to attend my regular School of Community gathering on Tuesday mornings at 8am – this being the only time a graduate student, two priests, and two fathers of families can gather.
This early time worked well for me all last year, at a time when I needed much support. It was a blessing for me to have our School of Community. But, like the changing of seasons, my schedule begins to change, and I start to lose balance. I struggle with anxiety. I am getting better at managing it, but it is still something I need to face every day. Getting enough sleep helps me, so the early time for School of Community has been especially difficult to make lately. But even without my participation in my local School of Community, the charism has stayed with me.
I have had a ton of powerful experiences as a priest, ministering in the vineyard of a college campus where I serve. I am a priest at a university, always interacting with brilliant students, faculty, and staff. My daily rhythm in this environment is never the same, yet it is truly captivating.
I have had encounters with Christ while I am trying to be a channel of healing and grace to others, an instrument of God’s unconditional love.
I have had many powerful experiences with Christians during moments of evangelization as he introduces me to lost sheep and those who had no idea they feel unseen.
Something within me wakes them up and it also wakes me up.
Peter Kreeft uses morality as an example of how God communicates through us, in his book Catholic Christianity. Kreeft says, “The moral life of the Christian is Christ himself living his life in his people. We are his own Body! The moral life of the Christian is not merely a human effort to imitate Christ; it is what St. Paul called “this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col 1:27).
I have had many powerful encounters during spiritual direction sessions with college students asking life’s toughest questions while at the same time processing their existential identity.
In all of this, there is something consistent that strikes me every time: I encounter Christ in myself; in Him I see who I am! To encounter Christ in myself means that I discover Christ who loves me, delights in me, and calls me His “son.” I see Him, hear Him, watch Him at work.
In Him I live and move and have my being!
Christ uses me, invites me, His priest, to help shepherd His people in the pasture. Me who also runs off like a lamb with fast little legs running in the wrong direction. Christ uses my humanity and all the messiness that it is!
My experience of the charism of CL has helped me recognize this presence in myself and others more acutely. This awareness is a gift that stays with me, even when it is not possible for me to attend School of Community regularly. This faith, that is a gift, is where I encounter Him personally. It's a blessing to be a channel of grace and love. It's a joy to work in His vineyard as a priest. It is all a gift.
Fr. Brian, Athens, GA